Falcon's Nest, Episode 6: Ft. Jaro February8/Heavenly8 「3/5/2007」
The scene opens with the cute new girl at her desk, replying to fan mail. She sighs, having a disappointed look on her face as she opens up each e-mail.
CG: *sigh* For the eight time, no, I will not model my underwear on the show. This is supposed to be a family-friendly show and we have a bunch of perverts for a fan base.
Some random employee walks up to the girl.
Random Employee: Hey, guess what?
CG: What? I’m busy here. Spit it out, will ya?
RE: An Artist from Serenity Records is coming on the show, today.
The cute girl gets a scared look on her face as she holds her arm up over her.
CG: GAHHHAHAHahahah…
The cute girl remains frozen in this pose as the random employee blinks.
RE: Eh? What’s wrong?
Timmy comes walking over to perhaps flirt with the cute girl until, he sees her like she is. He then looks to the random employee while pointing at the cute girl.
Timmy: Hey, what’s up with her?
RE: Well… I was telling her about an artist coming from Serenity Records is coming onto our show and suddenly she-
Timmy’s expression now twists in fear, his hands held to his face.
T: WHAAAAAaaaaa…..
The random employee blinks, seeing Timmy is now under that condition. Suddenly, Paul Falcon shows up to the scene and sees the two frozen in their poses.
Paul Falcon: Hmm… trying to mimic some modern art? Or doing an impersonation of a little boy spending the night at the Neverland Ranch?
RE: No, I just told them about the guest this week, an artist who comes from Serenity Records…
Paul Falcon then goes into his own chronic frozen in fear pose which features his back being turned as he looks to the ceiling, holding the back of his head with both hands.
PF: NOOOOH!!!!!
The random employee looks to all three and sighs.
RE: …. Serenity Records is a non-profit organization…
All three of them snap out of it at the same time.
T: Sounds good.
Cute Girl: Yup!
PF: Well, time to start.
RE: *sigh* Losers…
Jaro February6's "Pieces of Dreams" plays in the background with the logo shown and all. Paul Falcon is seen sitting at his desk, reading a horror book.
PF: Wow… she’s dead. Wow, this book is so lame…
Paul then tosses the book aside and looks towards the camera.
PF: Welcome, one and all, to Falcon’s Nest. The show which would find it funny if you popped opened a hot, shook bottle of soda, making the cap fly and would find it hilarious if it bounced back and hit you square in the forehead. Yes… well, I have nothing to relay or reflect on this week but, for the sake of it, Timmy’s a mother’s boy…
There is a long quiet pause as Paul shuffles his papers.
PF: Sorry for saying the obvious, folks… let’s get rollin’. Well, today's guest happens to be a real performer out there in AHN, he's already won quite a few of the ladies here on AHN.... second to me, of course.
Looks over to the side saying a low voice.
PF: And this better not turn out to be another money drainer like Ayu was.
He clears his throat and speaks a little louder.
PF: He's none other than Jaro February8/Heavenly8.... but, I'm calling him Jaro. Welcome to the show, Jaro.
Jaro February8/Heavenly8: Hiiiii! Can I speak Japanese or not? Or should I speak English? Haha! sou....ミンアさんよろしくお願いします〜ジャロです！僕はインタが初めてです、がんばります！
PF: Uh.... *looks over to Timmy* Translate that for me, Timmy.
T: WTH?! I'm not Japanese, fool. I'm Chinese!!! OMG, you are so racist!!! I hate you!
Jaro: Is Timmy from South Park? (O.o)
PF: *blinks* He's retarded like him but, not the same Timmy.
T: WHAT?!
PF: Oh, suck it up, Timmy. Anyways, yes... Speak English for the not so gifted English readers. *Smiles.*
Jaro: haiiii!! English it will be *grabs dictionary* (^_^)
PF: Well, yeah, could you translate that one sentence for me? I'm kind of slouchy with my Japanese, too.
T: Paul's a retarded jerk!
Jaro: I said "Hii everyone, please be good to me as I will be good to you, it's my first time interview so good luck to me~" hahaha!
Paul pushes a button and a cat is heard screeching in the background.
T: Oww, my face!!!
Timmy is seen rolling on stage, wrestling with the cat. As Timmy has the cat down, Jaro pokes Timmy in the nose. This causes Timmy to fall over and the cat on top of him again. Timmy and the cat then wrestle each other off stage.
Jaro: wiiii~ i love cats!
PF: Thank you, and this is your first interview on television, eh? That's just awesome. Oh yes, you just got to love cats... but, yeah. Anyways, what got you motivated into working in the music industry?
Jaro: Ummm, (OuO) ou! I'm actually in a band called [oshare] it's a visual kei band in our university, Since I quit school right now to get away from so much stress, I decided to continue my music life with my own, just covering and singing stuffs and along with that I make videos and publish my whole records, just like a real artist. It's fun you guys should try this kind of project out if you have time, but the bad thing is you’ll really need lots of time and you should compose too. (^_^)
PF: Ah, I see, very interesting. So, you make your own lyrics, covers, and blend different background sounds, right?
Jaro: What kind of background sounds? (O.O) like animal sounds??? eeeeee? Anyway every now and then I insert my own compositions in my release, like now form the upcoming single (OMG lol) I made my own lyrics to fit in the song and another new one along with the limited pack. And yes I do make my own materials, which is hard for me, cos I don’t have staff and people to help me in all of them. I'm like the very hardworking artist from Serenity Records hahaha I wish they could be more active soon also *mumbles* nyahe!
PF: Yeah, leave it to the record industry.... slackers. But, wow, you seem to be really busy with all that stuff you do. But, it seems to be paying off pretty well for you since you actually got some fans going and all. Ha ha... getting pretty popular with the ladies, aren't you?
Jaro: Ahehehe! iiiii hai!(^_^') jaro announcement~i broke up with my GF yeiiii~ hahahhah! Anyway I'm really flattered like a donut being sat by a police officer haha! *mew mew* I'm really happy to hear comments about my works cos it seriously pays off, specially here in ahn that everyone congratulates me when I release on something makes me feel warmed here that’s why I consider staying here than others ahehehehe
PF: Yeah, those comments could be pretty heart-warming indeed. Fans could be a good thing... to a point. So, from what I take it... you don't have any stalkers yet?
Jaro: well I have some followers which is pretty scary sometimes but of course HEART-WARMING (o.o) since I made these stuff and spread them all over the internet and my mixi, there's this girl who liked my project and we met and then she's so..... loud... m(___)m she's fun to be with and she treated me like a kitten (>_>) before I leave she gave me this 6 paged letter from her, it's really sweet, it's paying my hard work so much. (TT-TT) and I don't think I have stalkers cos I talk to everyone who likes my music ahehehe!
PF: Wow... that's pretty good stuff. Music is like... a chick magnet. Was she like... really hot?
Jaro: *laughs* She’s fairly pretty (^_^)v do you want her number? Nyahahaha!
PF: Psssh... Aw, come on, man. You should give me more credit than that. I mean, do you think I am some sort of desperate man looking for a girl or something? .... I'll get back to you about it after the show. But, that's cool, man. I am glad you are able to do songs and all, and get commented for it, get girls all fan girlish and all that. That’s very nice. Have any huge plans for the future? Like... going pro?
Jaro: *laughs* Well I’ll introduce you to her that might be fair? ahehehe *myuuuu~ dun hurt jaro-kun ~(U.U)~ ////// I've plans for my upcoming single yeii haha as of now it's about the 8th anniversary single, for the 9th single it's on the middle of processing the cd cover for it is nearly done, the song will be heavy rock and the cover looks scary. (~.~) About going pro, I’m currently auditioning in Sony Intl. Audition~ I'm still filing my requirements to be send, i contacted and call them that even Japan residents can still audition. Let's hope and get the star. Wiiii la la la la~ I’m so hungry now.
PF: Yeah... I wish you good luck with that, and to not forget about us at AHN when you get all famous and all.
Suddenly, two boxes with cranks are seen being thrown on stage. Paul looks over to them.
PF: ... That's this week's random prop?
Jaro: omg a prop!! Yeiiiii!!! I can eat the props right? Hahaha!
Paul stands up and looks over to the prop and picks one of them up, examining it. Jaro picks the other one up and looks at that one.
PF: It doesn't look... edible.
Jaro: areee? nani o?
Suddenly, the crank starts to turn on it's own, with some warped sounding "Pop goes the Weasel" music.
PF: Eh? What is this?
T: Oh... about that particular Jack in the Box...
Jaro: Ou!! I know those!!! That’s the thing that suddenly pops out in and out like a crazy old grandpa with a make up all over his face!!! oooo omg omg omg!!1
Jaro starts to twist at his own crank, twisting it faster than the other box. Both of them pop open at the same time, instead of being scary clown looking figures, they are both gloves, punching Paul in the face at the same time.
Jaro: ahahahahaha! A double hit!
T: .... That box you are holding, Paul.... is haunted.
*Paul places the box down and looks to Timmy.*
PF: Haunted? Ha ha ha... what kind of cheesy fairytale is-
The box popped open again, this time the glove had hit Paul in the crotch.
PF: Gah.... this thing is possessed!!!
Paul drops down to the floor, trembling.
PF: Jaro, Timmy... do something!
Jaro: eeeee?
Jaro grabs some sort of nerdy, fan-made magical book of Hogwarts. He flips it open and starts muttering “magical words”.
Jaro: wingadium leviosa~!
Of course, nothing happens afterward. Paul looks up to Jaro, cocking an eyebrow and blinks.
PF: You aren't Harry Pothead, dude…
Jaro: I'm Harry Krueger, you dork! haha!
PF: What is that? Is that Freddy Krueger’s brother from a different mother? Eh, never mind.
Paul stands up and kicks the box aside.
PF: There... that's how you handle an idiot-possessed box. Anyways, thanks Jaro for coming to the show. And for the rest of you out there... good night!
Jaro: Haiiii! Mata ashita!!! ^__^
The box is seen crawling back and springs up, grabbing Paul by the throat. People rush in to his aid as the scene goes out.